And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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