Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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