Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
