we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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