Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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