If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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