you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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