have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
