I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
