I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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