Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
