I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
