i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
