Only a mothe r could love this liver
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
