I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
