Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
