so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
