This girl is more easily done than said...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
