Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
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