i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
