margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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