Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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