Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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