i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
