I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
