I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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