I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We need a shit load of segways right now
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
