Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
