And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
