My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
