There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
