I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
