Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
