She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
