I bet he comes in French.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Randomize
