I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I need a hoe opinion
go on
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
