We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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