Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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