i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
