You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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