She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
