Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
