in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
