My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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