No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
