she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
