; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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