david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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