dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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