after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
