Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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