i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
