bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
They are going to name an STD after you.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
