he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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