Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
