I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
